I often find my myself envy of others gifts. IE picture taking, the way the dress (not actual clothes, but how they put the outfit together), even something as simple as writing.
Last night we were watching America's Got Talent and this older Asian man was literally a one man band. They passed him through, but he sounded like a big ol mess. The fact the it takes him 3 hrs to put together his instrument just blew the judges away, he was super sweet. I got to thinking about the mess that was his band. I want to be a master at one thing. Do it well. But I enjoy a lot of things.... just never find time to do it. I really enjoy crafts and learning new things to bake. I want to get into some interior design and start a blog for Mason's random pictures. But I get home, and play with boys because I haven't seen them all day. They are what I want to be good at. They are what I want to master. Being there, being their mommy. But I also need something to identify me. I see flora delis, and see my Aunt Barb, I see Country Crafts and I see my grandma, and I see runners world and see My mom, I see sales and I see Patti. Is there anything that you see, and you see me?
This post began as something completely different but ended in an open ended question that may not even be answered. Curiosity wont kill this cat. Failure is in my dictionary, but never holds me back from trying something new.
Even now I feel like it sounds like a mess. Just because I dont indentify with something, doesnt mean that I am unhappy. I want to transfer my happiness into something for me. From me. Unselfishly.
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