"IF HE BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE WILL SEE YOU THROUGH IT"

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Change of Events

Completely forgot I start writing this, so I shall continue, since I am at work and getting paid to do nothing and they are letting me go on the 13th. HAPPY FRIDAY the 13th right?

Thats precisely the change of events. I will no longer have a job after next friday. Along with it being frightening not having income and the economy being a complete nightmare. Irony comes to play. In 2006 I started working at Cyclone, a month into working there, I got pregnant with Mason. Come 2007, Mason is 2 months old, and Cyclone closes their doors to our office. Jobless with Baby #1. After watching my beautiful nephew and niece for some extra cash, and their time, the extra cash -soon became not enough. 2008, Mason turns 1, a month and a half pass, a positive pregnancy test, shows Benjamin will be coming soon to a L&D near you. Now, a year into my position at Gale, is now non-existent and...... Come March 13th.......... Benjamin will be .... Duhn duhn dun...... 2 months old. With Baby #2.... now jobless. What does this mean? I am convinced it could be worse, with a lady at another office being a month from retirement and a 1 month out of her husbands passing, was let go. I am blessed to have two healthy boys and a great husband. If only that could get us through life comfortably. With bills and creditors calling, thats not some comfortable. Job search is on. Clinging to the loves of my life.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Insecure

Insecurities.
Its really good to write out your feelings and since my emotions are still on a rollercoaster from the all those stinking pregnancy hormones I am having a hard time right now. If you feel attacked, Im sorry, but I need to get this out for ME to feel better. For one, there is nothing I can't stand more then someone saying they will do something and completely cutting off contact when it doesn't happen. I don't know if its because your affraid to hurt my feelings by telling me you can't make it or what, but not telling me hurts my feelings worse. Just tell me that you aren't going to follow through and I wont hold it against you. Im a scorpio ok. Grudges are my first name, not that I won't be friendly and bend over backwards for you, but know that if this happens, its all that I think about until I am able to brush it off. There are a couple friends that I can't let go of, and never will, but at some point I can't let my emotions be taken advantage of. Its black and white. I don't even need the reason.
I really need to learn how to let things pass, and not let them mull over in my head. Its exhausting, and I want to be able to keeping moving forward instead of letting it ruin my now.
There have been many times where I feel like I was totally left out of the loop, is it because my company is unbearable? Please, be frank with me, dont hurt my feelings, I can use this to work on what I said earlier. Whether you feel like I am talking to you or not, this is not to hurt your feelings, of corse its the last thing I want to do, but I need to get it out of my mind and written down.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Men are weak, Women are the devil.

He's just not that into you.
What a great movie. I truly shows you how simple minded men are. haha Not that its a bad thing but I can't put into words how smart this movie is. Along with them being simple minded. They are WEAK. I dont care if you haven't seen it, you see it coming. There is this one couple that were married out of college, she gave him an ultimatum "you either marry me, or we are done". Well the guy "Ben" said he didn't want to lose her, so he married her. Years down the road, they are renovating a house, and getting it all together, and he bumps into a beautiful woman (Scarlett Johansen) in the grocery store (which in real life could happen, Scarlett Johansen mabe not, but beautiful, sure.) and she happens to get his card since he is in the music industry and she wants to become a singer. She originally asks to take his number, and he declines and tells her he is married. Good for him. But She takes his card for his professional help. She decides she wants to call him NOT for his help on the music side, but because she wants to see him again. Blah dee blah dee blah... She totally luers (sp?) this little boy (yes "ben") into her web, and he caves. Several times when he feels himself faultering, he tells her he is married. She's persistant in getting him to cave, and he does. Go to the beginning of earth, Eve is the one who gets Adam to sin and eat the apple. Since all since are the same, they are Adam and Eve. Just different circumstances. This scenerio reminds me of another movie with the "Adam and Eve" called "The Last Kiss" GREAT movie, just so sad to see men faulter when you see that they truly love their woman, but the temptation was too great. I'm not saying that cheating is AT ALL okay. But its just sad that its so common. It truly makes me sick to my stomach.

In the end
Men are weaklings
Women feed off of temptation

This is just one couple in this movie, they did a great job in capturing different type of relationships and sterotypes. Great movie.