I have asked my self to fall on the mundane, wake up work and repeat. This makes me sad for many reasons. One because I know I'm not taking care of myself emotionally. Dint get me wrong, I'm so blessed and grateful for the people and things I have in my life. We work really hard to give the boys a good life. There are things we are overlooking. The ideals that our bodies are a temple and they need to be fed. Fed literally and physically. A great joy of mine is working out. I know many people do not have the lick in really truly enjoying being their rate jumping and sweat dropping. This is one of the pleasures on life that I can honestly say I feel is a great to my soul. I have given this speech before but hear I am, a couple months earlier than last year. Telling myself I need to treat my soul with things that have held true. Every time. I have asked my self to fall on the mundane, wake up work and repeat. This makes me sad for many reasons. One because I know I'm not taking care of myself emotionally. Dint get me wrong, I'm so blessed and grateful for the people and things I have in my life. We work really hard to give the boys a good life. There are things we are overlooking. The ideals that our bodies are a temple and they need to be fed. Fed literally and physically. A great joy of mine is working out. I know many people do not have the lick in really truly enjoying being their rate jumping and sweat dropping. This is one of the pleasures on life that I can honestly say I feel is a great to my soul. I have given this speech before but hear I am, a couple months earlier than last year. Telling myself I need to treat my soul with things that have held true. Every time.

topless pot pie!

Quick and Easy!

Step 1. Grab your Bisquick box. Use the ingredients for a biscuit  Knead as directed then layer on the bottom of a cupcake tin. Be sure to grease the tin. Mine came right off, I am unsure if it would come off easily without greasing it.

Step 2. Bake for roughly 7-9 minutes (as directed on the Bisquick box) or until golden brown on top.

Step 3. Remove biscuits still in cup form. While baking the cups, be sure to prepare what you will be adding to your pie. In this particular batch. I had Kirkland shredded chicken, Idaho instant loaded baked potatoes and corn.

Step 4. Add all prepared ingredients to the list.

Step 5. ENJOY!! Dinner for a family in less than 15 minutes!

Are you keeping track?

Monday - did what I said I would. Although that experience was less relaxing than doing yoga with the boys within an ear shot. But it was what it was.
Tuesday - just did level two of Jillian Michael's, I came down with a nasty head cold that had me feeling like spongebob when he visits Sandys house with a water tight helmet!
Wednesday - I wanted to kick the cold out of town. So I did CardioX. Good evening boost. Helped a ton!
Thursday - I'm lending a friend my Jillian Michaels for her to burn. So I did the level 3. I did this one ONCE before and it was tough! This go around, not as. This makes me happy :) plus I did an additional AB ripper on top of it! Good stuff right there.
Today- some legs and back that was cut off 20 minutes short because my computer was going bonkers. Tried some strengthening yoga for ten minutes and some other leg working stuff! Totaling an hour. Proved to me today that I need to up my weights! Yes! Strong = Happy
As for the cold, slightly lingering, but that evening workout Wednesday really brightened my mood.

4 days til San Diego!!!!! How many days til the 30 mark? I don't even know!

Day 18 - 21....

Day 18 Thursday was a p90x chest, shoulders and triceps kind of day. It was pretty good and I got through it like a champ I must say!

Day 19- I woke up with absolutely zero urge to jump or jerk in any way whatsoever. Insert 30 minutes of the yoga x, perfection. These 30 minutes were jammed pack with great vinyasas and stable poses that made me sore for two days!

I skipped another Saturday. Im sad about this with the exception that I felt really good about my catch up workout on Sunday! Because of this, I'm not counting it as a day, throwing it out and not letting it drag me down.

Day 20 - this was filled with legs and back and the remaining hour of yoga. I have never been good at balance poses, but hot dog I rocked tree that morning like I was a yogi pro! It made me so proud I almost wanted to start another 30 day regimine of yoga after vacation! Personally, there is something mindful and peaceful about yoga that I never am in satisfied with my "practice".

Today day 21 - I'm switching it up and working out after work. This will contain a short trip on the elliptical or treadmill and a yoga session at the gym :)

What's your workout for today?

Day... 12-17

Holy Cow. I am so far in posting.. I had to count on my fingers how many days were past! Let me preface that I feel stronger. I feel more confident and yet, still fight with those inner demons asking "why waste your time?" I know that by leading a healthy lifestyle and showing my boys a healthy lifestyle it will pay off. I am doing my best to be aware that its not causing them to feel neglected or overlooked. Their behavior has proved that they do not feel this way. I know that I have a longer patience threshold and I am able to take things in stride.
I couldn't do this without Sterlings support.
On to my days...
Day 12 was Friday. Sadly, I am unsure what I even did on this day!! I know I worked out but I'm not exactly sure what I did! I think it was one of those, Jillian Michael's + Ab Ripper X kind of days!
Day 13 was busy. So busy in fact didn't beat myself up over the fact that I didn't get my 30 minutes in. What did I do? I did go out with my husband and have dinner with some friends! That was so worth the "rest"!
Day 14 - Sterling and I tackled P90X plyometrics. If you have ever done this series, you are aware that this is "the mother of all workouts". It truly is. By the end you are basically drowning in your sweat on the floor while you recover. Tough tough tough. I somehow caught a second wind and did a set of Jillian and AB Ripper again. If I don't have abs of steel by the end of this 30 days... I might beat someone up with my new and improved biceps!
Day 16- Monday. Jillian level 2 with some yoga after. Good short workout after the madness of the day before!
Day 17- I completed Core Synergystis from P90X, this workout is 55 minutes and pretty nicely put together. Not defeating but difficult at the same time. I got home and felt the urge to fit in another workout! After we put the boys to bed I went to the gym and put in a good hour. If felt great!
Day 18- today. Classic 30 day shred kind of morning. Wanted to get my 30 today done and over with. Tonight u will have to fight the urge for working out again, more important things will be done tonight! Family time!
14 days til San Diego! 12 more of my 30 days to a healthier me! So far, I don't regret taking on this mission. I just hope my family knows that I am searching for a healthier me, to be healthy for them!

Day 9 10 and 11!!!

Holy cow, 3 days have passed. Don't let that fool you into thinking I have thrown in the towel. Oh no, in fact, I've amped up my expectations a bit.

Day 9 was......... July 3rd.
On this day, I had planned to do Cardio X but turned to Jillian Michaela 30 day shred level 2. Obviously a step up from level 1, but I certainly haven't mastered that yet, it's just a good change in pace for the work out. On top of this I added in about 10 minutes of trampolinage with the boys, at their request, how could I not?
Day 10... Holiday! Not for my workout!
My dad took the boys to a movie and I took his opportunity to dive into the P90X legs and back. Holy momma. I pretty sure my glutes and thighs hate me, I hopping they pack their things and hit the road! I still felt that I could get in a little more FUN :) so I tossed in the X-stretch (basically yoga) and it treated me well for 30 more minutes

Today - Day 11.
Oh geez. I'm wring this at 1140pm why you ask? I had an Ah-mazing 2 hr personal session at home! I wanted to do the P90X chest, triceps and biceps. I put it on and probably completed 40 of the 55 minutes. I just couldn't do one more gosh darn push up and the one handers are way out of my upper body strength league. Working on it, just not there yet! Popped in Ms. Michaels level 1 (my go to!) completed it, then for the grand finale.... Drum rollllll.... Ab ripper X. In Tony's words "I hate it, but I love it!) phew!!

What will tomorrow bring? Not sure yet, but until then... Going to attempt to catch some Z's
Thanks for checking in!

Day 7 and 8 - creating an insatiable hunger....

Last night I convinced Sterling to do Kenpo X with me. Funny thing is, it was his idea, then when it came down to getting it done, he wavered. But, nonetheless, he made it through with me! Great workout, although, I wonder if it have me night sweats because I was burning up through the night. I tried to research the effects of "burning calories" and it brought up a thought. When discussing the "burning" of fat, does this create a significant amount of heat to the point where you notice it hours later? If so, sweet! Do any of you have an answer? I'd love to know.

This morning I powered through 30 day shred level 2. Satisfied after, but was left wanting more through my day. More of strength training. More muscle forming, fat losing more! Tomorrow am I plan on some Cardio X. Hope this satisfies this hunger I have. Since it will be an early morning, I'm putting my nose into "The Happiness Project" ... Exercising the mind hopefully before a good nights rest.

Day 5 and 6 - stepping up the anty!

Day 5 - instead of yogaZone I felt the need for intensity. After my sore muscles were fighting me on day 4, I found that as motivation in that sore muscles show that I pushed myself.

Day 6 - the gym was calling me and it sure delivered!
15 minutes on treadmill at 5.4
15 minutes on elliptical with an incline of 6 and resistance of 9.
Weights for 15 minutes.
20 minutes on the stairs. This machine killlls me! I mixed in leg moves and side stepping alternations. It was tough!
While stretching, "where have you been" came on over my head phones and I was still pretty pumped. I finished stretching and jumped in the treadmill for 8 more minutes at 5.6! Felt so empowering to go beyond what I had already accomplished.

Being so sore today helped me stay away from those fresh cinnamon rolls out of the oven. Talk about will power!

Today the husband is going to join me on some Kenpo X. Pretty stoked.

Day 4 - 30 days to a healthier me! Bondiband!

Today was particularly difficult. Why? Well, Imagine day 4... aching sore muscles, pleading for rest. NOPE.
Not happening. I can almost compare my muscles to the voices that try to mesemrize those who carry the ring in "The Lord of the Rings"...
Something like this...
"Ashleeyyy.. you completed a total of 4 workouts in 3 days... call it even and restttt for ussss... Just stop for today."
Me- "shut your pie hole! Should have done that prior to today and the 58 bazillion cupcakes I have eaten in the last 2 years!"


I told me!
Anyways... 
I am wrapping up two of my classes this evening and I needed a boost anyways to get these loose ends tied nicely. Jillian Michaels helped with that. Oh! And did I mention my mom was selling bondibands for Team in Training (Leukemia and Lymphoma society)? Well she is, if you would like one let me know and I can arrange for the trade off. One for 10 or Two for 15. WMG, aka Julie Costello, was kind enough for us to have them out for a day or two... They are pretty dang cute and some pretty comical.

I wore this one tonight!

You can always visit her support site @ http://pages.teamintraining.org/az/nikesf12/ehemerka

Browse their website and Ill let you know if she has it in stock! Bondibands.com
(when you go asking yourself... why is she selling them for 2 bucks more? Think of shipping cost and the money that goes straight to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. THANKS!)

Day 2 and 3!

Day 2... came and went like a flash! I took the whole day today to research, hypothesis, brainstorm and dish out my 8 page paper on the FLDS sect and it was all too draining... BUT I have great news about my 30 days to a healthier me!

Lets start Day 2. Jillian Michaels. Man that girl can certainly pack a punch into a 25 minute workout. To all those who think they don't have time to workout, I HIGHLY recommend purchasing her 30 Day Shred ... It does wonders in the strength training department. I only use my 5 lb weights and it just rips your shoulders and your biceps. Strong is what I need my scrawny arms to be.

Day 3. Since I was home writing my paper all day, I needed an energy boost before I got started. I knew that if I didn't get my workout in before I began, I could have easily axed it all together. I am forever grateful for the mastermind behind taking out Tony Horton's commentary and just leaving his voice for changing sequences. I blasted my run playlist and it made my workout ah-mazing. Not that P90X's Cardio X needs help with that, but not hearing about the two that met in the test group and are engaged to be married for the 1500th time, it made me smile.

Playlist: Don't knock it until you have it playing during your workout! You'll see why I add the disclaimer.

Not in any particular order.
Eminem - Cinderella Man
Usher - Yeah!
Linkin Park - Papercut
Fort Minor - Remember the Name
Fort Minor - In Stereo
Paramore - Crushcrushcrush
Paramore - Pressure
Jay-Z - Renegade
Rihanna - Where have you been
Britney Spears - Womanizer
Justin Bieber (Feat. Ludacris)- All Around The World
Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
Katy Perry - Firework
Katy Perry (feat Kanye West) - E.T.
Justin Timberlake - (oh no) What you got.

It was a blast working out to my own playlist. I rocked it, happy to say. About four o clock rolls around and a little birdie (Anndrea!) asked me to join her for some hot yoga.... considered declining because I had already worked out pretty dang good and Sterling insisted that I go. He knows me all too well, I have a small love affair with Yoga. I went. I do not regret it for one second. It was hot. But it was fruitful.
Onto tomorrow... what to do what to do... I know I am going to be sore... but I need to get my 30 minutes in. Maybe some YogaZone Stretching... :)

Until then!

Day 1 - Healthier Me.

Today... Started off slow. Did some yoga before work because my hair was clean and I despise nothing more than ruining perfectly cleaned hair. Moms with long hair, you understand!!


I fell back on some videos I found on Hulu a while back when we didn't have cable or a gym membership. They may be super cheesy but they get the job done. They have all sorts of variations choose from.. yoga for strengthening your legs (which I did) arms and back. Yoga for a stronger core... fat burning yoga... meditation. You name it. 


Yoga Strength Part 1.


I also did Part 2 for 10 minutes because Part 1 is only 22 mins. Baby steps... I can't conquer the world. Sometimes I need to be brought down from my clouds to remember I am, in fact, human. 


Another aspect for my health I am changing is my face care regimen. I have NEVER had clear skin. Its something that I know I have to live with. I tried proactive when I was a teenager and it dried me out some fierce. After having two kids and no longer needing birth control (snip snip!) I have decided that my skin is a mess!! Sterling uses proactive and we have an abundance in stock under our sink. Day 1 for this face care regimen was yesterday. If it improves, I will share the picture I took of my face.. without makeup... on Day 1. I enjoy NOT wearing make up every now and then, I hope I can get to the point where I wont depend on foundation to cover up my pimples... zits and everything else that makes me look like a middle schooler who eats wayyy to much pizza!


Tomorrow... is a new day! 

30 days to a healthier me!

Looking back... I stretched myself too thin for a goal that has no necessary deadline. I put a time stamp on when it could be done, could is an exaggeration. Working full time, while maintaining a happy and healthy family was causing me to be less healthy! I am scaling back my school work and putting my graduation date at a more responsible spring.
Why 30 days? I heard somewhere that of you do something 30 days in a row than you psychologically make it habitual. I want a healthy habit. I am committing to 30 days of exercise with a photo to prove. 30 minutes minimum. Instead of pigeon holing myself to one particular regimen, I am going to leave this part flexible. A little yoga one day, some p90x another, Jillian Michael's the next, a good run another. The sky is the limit and I will fill my 30 min with something! Follow my progress and make sure I am sticking to this healthy change! See you in the morning!

Is your love a farse?

For my Personal Growth in Intimate Relationship course I am asked to write a blog to help out other college students or friends with love. I am going to use the information that was provided for me in this post. I believe that most of the information that with come hereafter most of us know, but we deny because of the innocent veil we were when we are "in love". We often hear from the generation that came before us, "your young, what do you know about love?" They only prod us with this question because there veil is no more. Its in their past and they see these young kids making some mistakes that they made. If you interested, follow me into triangular world of love that has to do with commitment, intimacy and passion. 


Consider these words... different types of love. 
Non love
liking
infatuation
empty love
romantic love
companionate love
fatuous love 
consummate love


The three in bold I feel I should discuss. 
Romantic love, I believe, is one of the largest factors of why the divorce rate is the way it is. People go into a relationship desiring the movies, Gone with the Wind and The Notebook type of love. There is nothing wrong with having a fantasy, but it will hurt you when you allow it to blind your heart from the reality of a intimate relationship. Statistically, one who is in a type of romantic love, loses this passion that drove them into the deep end. Romance begins with a strong arousal to one another and veils the negative, and sometimes damaging, aspects of the other. You think "I love him, he is so good to me, I get butterflies every time we hold hands" and your friends see "he is controlling, we never see you and whenever we try to do something with you, there is always an excuse." This is the honeymoon stage. If this continues and you damage all of the healthy relationships... there may be something to reevaluate. You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. By saying this, you need to be able to operate without the other to be a whole person. The person you love cannot truly be the thing that makes you "whole". You should strive to be "whole" before you seek a relationship and when it comes time to mesh with the other, you can bring all of your positive aspects to the table and become a great secure couple. If you are both insecure than you will see that your passion will decrease after marriage and will fizzle to nothing... you will have no identity because your identity was this relationship that is now... nothing. 


Fatuous love is the type of love that may most likely lead you into a relationship that leads to controlling issues. This love is very dangerous because of the amount of passion associated between the two involved. This love has passion and commitment but little intimacy. If you feel you are in a relationship with little intimacy and strong commitment and passion, you may feel that you have a strong relationship and be misguided because of the amount of commitment. Consider that you are committed to the relationship and that passion that may be involved, but the lack of intimacy really takes a shot at you self esteem. You may consider talking to a counselor and determine whether your relationship is the cause for you low self esteem and self loving. 


Thirdly, Consummate love. I hear the word consummate and automatically thing of the wedding night. The night you "consummate" your marriage, as most people assume. This may be all so true because when you are in a consummate love, you are high in intimacy, passion and commitment. All of these are present and so strong that this is the type of love that can withstand the test of time. This love has a healthy dose of all and when lacking in one, the others may provide the help needed to bring back what is low. Most believe that marriage is a 50/50. In reality, this is far from the truth. When you say, "in sickness and in health", you mean in sickness you will take on more to be sure that your significant other is comfortable and taken care of. This goes the same for when your sick or incapable, your spouse will be sure to pull more than 50% of the weight to make sure you are taken care of. It does not work 50/50 all the time. People go into marriages thinking it supposed to be 50/50 and when they see that is not, they throw in the towel because they have "given too much" and in reality they didn't realize the commitment they made included times when you give more of yourself than expected. When a woman is pregnant, the man cannot provide the 50/50 because the woman is the one who is pregnant. Often times when the baby is born, the mother breastfeeds, and the father feels out of the loop. He wants to provide for his new baby and mom is still the source of most providing. This is just how it happens and in time you will find a way to see a balance. In times of unbalance, ride it out... before you consider the next step into marriage, ask yourself if you are prepared to be committed to this person for the rest of your life, in sickness and in health? Is it just romance? Do you desire something that is just not there? Is this person willing to give more in times of need? Are you blinded by the idea of romance and fantasy? Love isn't a game and we shouldn't treat it as such, there are no winners if you treat it this way.

Shake it off!

Lets begin... with an ending!
School is done for this semester, with the exception of an online math test and final. Those are none to worry. Just so glad to be done with that stress and ready to be done with the stress of moving (aren't we always moving ?? ) Hopefully once the air is clear I can breathe a sigh of relief and my face will clear! These zits are only adding to my stress!!

The boys are getting ever so big. I just wish I could ball up our little moments and savor them. Since I don't think we will be able to head to Oregon for the family vacation, I'm hoping to be able to spring up to San Diego to get some good family time. If anyone has any ideas for cheap tickets to Sea World or San Diego Zoo let me know!

P90X is pretty exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time. Doing it in increments (not the 90 day straight craziness) but still seeing results :)

I think we are due for some family pictures...

We mess up sometimes

Silly faces!

Ok... In reality, I should be writing something I should have written one two nights ago... I had something more urgent than that tonight and that thing that should have been written could wait. I want to share something with you all...

Easter at Mission. 

I have done a lot of thinking and I am literally counting my blessings left and right. There are some things in life that we, as a family, wish we could be doing, like many other families have, but it is not our time. I have to be okay with that. Why? Because I am overwhelming blessed in so many areas in my life that I should not look down upon those areas in which others may think I am "poor" in. Life is just that - one giant blessing. 

with my sister and neice :)

how is p90x? Amazing! Just making time for it instead of sticking to its "90" day philosophy. Because its so fun I want to do it all the time. With the semester coming to an end, thats just plain impossible!

Promises Promises

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have promised myself I will do something, or continue doing something, then I look back wondering what kept me from keeping these random promises. It all boils down to time. I could sit and dwell on the fact that I made promises that I didn't keep for myself, but I wont, why? It wastes time! 

Some updates. Benjamin is 2 and Mason is 4. O My Goodness! I just can't get over how big these boys are! They amaze me everyday, like on Saturday when Ben unraveled the entire roll of toilet tissue and decided he was going to flush it ALL down our only toilet that never flushes what it needs to most of the time anyway! Needless to say, I plunged for an hour and a half while making dinner. Having to use a cup to get the excess water from NOT splashing while I was plunging, into the bathroom, which then clogged too! Then Sterling and Phil come and Phil gets it on his first try. Of course. Thank goodness Benjamin wasn't trying to flush poop down. Phew!


Mason had a super fun birthday party, as you can see in the following pictures.

Love this picture of Natalie :)

Mason showing off for his friend Ava <3

Benjamin's face is priceless in both of these  

Mason HAD to make a goofy face.

We are going to try out P90X tonight and see if we can "commit" to it. Thanks Casey for letting us borrow it! Hope it doesnt end up in the "what made us not go through with our promise" pile. 


 Tomorrow is Sterling's 25th birthday! To infinity!

Endearing Benjamin Franklin

My dear Friend, June 25, 1745
I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. lie is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
-Benjamin Franklin

Some food for thought....

without a trace

I find it completely mind consuming that certain people in my life have just been completely erased from the scene in my life. With social networking and technology these days, you'd think it'd be easier to keep in touch than for someone to just "dissappear".
Let me explain to particular instances.
1. a friend from NC that I was great friends with since junior high just disappeared. This loss of communication isn't new with him, but with all of the factors that were considered, I accepted those as just busy time. He was a marine and recently ended his career there. He was married and now has a baby boy. By nature, I like to check in with friends to be sure they are well and keep up with the times. We typically didn't speak for months, often years, at a time. Since he had been deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq on different tours. I would randomly search his name, to make sure the "no news is good news" rang true. I was able to catch up with him just around the time his son was born. Then kept up on facebook for a couple months, then POOF! Gone. I sent him a Hello via phone and nothing. Then it appeared that he deleted his facebook. Okay, facebook isn't for everyone. When talking with our fellow middle school friends he comes up since he was in our circle. Searched him again today, nothing. Search his wife, there she was with a profile pic of all 3 of them. Married to: a code name, 100 percent sure it was him, with none of his friends that he had on his original facebook page. Is that a sign that he isn't wanting to be found. Point taken.
2. Girldfriend from work (previous employer). We were super close and she was there for the birth of Mason. So was a breath of fresh air and always so sweet and true. She disappeared after I found out I was pregnant with Benjamin. POOF! I tried contacting her on myspace (only form of communication since she had changed her number) I didn't want her to think I was phasing her out or anything, wanted to make sure I was putting in my effort. Just gone. Tried sending her a request as to why she wasnt responding to any of my inquiries. You have to keep in mind, I'm not the "stalker" type. We were super close, she even did my make up for my wedding. Since I was already on the search for friend number 1 who vanished, I figured I would search her to. There she was, tempted to message her, I didn't. We didn't have a falling out or anything of the sort, that's why these disappearing acts are so strange to me. Since she hadn't responded before, why would she now? Point taken. 
Anyone have any ideas as to why people vanish like this? Personally I think the more connections you have in life, the more meaningful and fulfilling. Has anyone else had this happen, without a word? Is it strange that I keep checking in on these long lost friends?

Visit with Santa

Mason was so excited to tell Santa exactly what he wanted for Christmas! Benjamin went right along with it and just smiled.

Thankfullness

Adding our family pics... Do I really need to tell you why I should be thankful? :)
See for yourself!!!