Insecure

Insecurities.
Its really good to write out your feelings and since my emotions are still on a rollercoaster from the all those stinking pregnancy hormones I am having a hard time right now. If you feel attacked, Im sorry, but I need to get this out for ME to feel better. For one, there is nothing I can't stand more then someone saying they will do something and completely cutting off contact when it doesn't happen. I don't know if its because your affraid to hurt my feelings by telling me you can't make it or what, but not telling me hurts my feelings worse. Just tell me that you aren't going to follow through and I wont hold it against you. Im a scorpio ok. Grudges are my first name, not that I won't be friendly and bend over backwards for you, but know that if this happens, its all that I think about until I am able to brush it off. There are a couple friends that I can't let go of, and never will, but at some point I can't let my emotions be taken advantage of. Its black and white. I don't even need the reason.
I really need to learn how to let things pass, and not let them mull over in my head. Its exhausting, and I want to be able to keeping moving forward instead of letting it ruin my now.
There have been many times where I feel like I was totally left out of the loop, is it because my company is unbearable? Please, be frank with me, dont hurt my feelings, I can use this to work on what I said earlier. Whether you feel like I am talking to you or not, this is not to hurt your feelings, of corse its the last thing I want to do, but I need to get it out of my mind and written down.