Don't even know where to begin. Taryn is the only family member that knows about the page, and some of this will be new to her. (but shhhh tare its still a secret to the family) And then there's Britt, but she already knows. We actually have known for about 3 weeks that I am pregnant with our 2nd child and due around the end of december. I feel completely compelled to write right now. There are so many thoughts racing through my head.
Mason is our pride and joy, and everyday we say how beautiful he is and how cute, how much we love the little man. He is truly amazing and a real blessing from God. Ironically We let go and let God take care of us when we were off the bc before him. So really we weren't trying to have him, but we felt that if God thought we were ready for him, then he would put his trust in us to raise a child when he knew we were ready. Sure as heck, 4 months after discontinueing contraceptives, we got pregnant with Mason. The entire expierence was absolutely amazing. A shock to most, but a complete joy.
I really am so lucky to have such amazing men in my life. I often catch myself looking at Sterling and thinking "you are so handsome, smart funny and amazing" He has one of the biggest hearts. No matter the mood or time, he always makes me laugh. We don't know what we would do without our son either. Everything could go wrong and just the sight of him put pure joy in my heart.
To bring another baby in the mix is completely terrifying to me, and I am sure that I am not the only one to feel this way about baby #2. I want to make sure that Mason knows that we still love him with all our might, and give him the attention he deserves. And with the new baby, I want to make sure he/she gets the same love and attention we gave to Mason. They will be almost 2 years apart, and I dont want Mason to resent the new baby when the time comes.
The way the economy is its shattering everyones finances, including us. We are struggling to make ends meet, and now we are adding a baby in the mix? Holy Cow.
God really seems to be extending his faith on us when I couldn't even imagine to begin where has brought us. I have been browsing verses to find some strength from him, because he seems to think we have it. There is one in particular that seems to be sticking with me. "I can do all things through he who gives me strength"
1 comment:
I'm so so SOOO excited for you Ash! When I found out I was pregnant with Bella I to was terrified. Like come on now I'm 21, there is no way I know how to raise a baby that's like what old people do ha ha ha. But really I was scared. After a few weeks it settled in and I was actually getting excited. I changed my negative thinking about not being able to take care of a human being into something a whole lot more positive- Heavenly Father trusted me SO much he was willing to send down one of his angels for me to love. So, just know that these babies are really hard, sometimes demanding, but how lucky are we to have these special angels in our lives. I know that with your faith everything is going to fall into place. I love you ash, im sorry I havent been a better friend. I'm always here for you though, I really mean it!
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