All I have time for is pictures!
Enjoy!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
1000 red loft balloons
At work I have comprised several short posts that I have wanted to continue at home and share. After going to the gym and spending the little time I have with my boys, you can imagine the dishaste I feel for the computer, after bring on it literally 8 hours, 5 days a week.
At some point I will use those "beginnings" and elaborate, but at this very second I cannot hold this particular subject in. To warn you, it may get you thinking.
I consider myself a believer. I believe in God and the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit as one). I often find times where when I feel like there is nothing left to do but wait, I remind myself that in due time, the reason for certain happenings come to the surface.
I am currently reading "The Shack" and if any of you have read it, you will probably understand most of my banterings in this particular post. If you have not, you should find a copy and thumb through it. I can honestly admit that there have been several instances where I want to stop what I am doing and share what this book brings to the table. I often find myself thinking "I completely agree... I knew that my relationship is the most important"
From what I have read in this book so far, it has been totally relevent to a current issue that is plagueing my sleep and free time. The question is... Who are you to decide what is right and wrong? If a path for you served to be the right one, but another is heading down your road, yet you feel it to be wrong for them? Deep inside you see this person's cituation is not like yours, although they may wish it to be as fulfilling as yours has proven to be. You see faulty in their thinking. Who am I to tell them they are making a mistake? As a parent, is there where we go wrong? Telling our children "you are making the biggest mistake of your life" or do we allow them to go down this road of hardship because this is what they chose?
Is this not what God gave us, when he granted us free will? When we are about to do something that is not in favor of us, yet we still feel we need to see the outcome? With all the pain and suffering in the world, does this give you humility or greed? You feel sorry for those who don't have all the physical things? Do you latch onto all the things you have "worked" for? Because in the end, nothing is truly and rightfully yours. Thats if you believe this. When life is made easier for you than most, why do some so easily let go of the important things in life. But then again, who am I to judge whats important and whats not? I am not the judge.
Often, I find myself, thinking about my decisions, and how I come across the right one. I find comfort in knowing that I do not compromise what I feel is right for me, and now my family. This is only because its for the greater good. Most risks that are taken, are truly careless, because if its not for the better of YOUR life and YOUR future, who is truly happy then?
I feel like there is one particular quality that I posessed in my teenage years, that most girls don't reach until later, and some others much later, in life. Its the confidence in myself. I dont NEED anyone to be happy. Thats not to say that I don't want my husband or my boys around. If they were gone, I'd be devistated. But it took me not NEEDING someone to love me to be truly and whole-y loved. If your not whole as a person, how can someone love you. You shouldn't feel the need to be loved by someone else to be complete.
When it all comes down to it. He loves you. Yes, God. Allah, Yesuah, etc... He has several names, but that higher power is bigger than you. Once you find that you are truly loved, and you should love yourself. You can truly be at peace.
::disclaimer:: what I have just said, does not mean there wont be hard times, because there will be many and plenty. But the love will get you through. 100% of the time.
At some point I will use those "beginnings" and elaborate, but at this very second I cannot hold this particular subject in. To warn you, it may get you thinking.
I consider myself a believer. I believe in God and the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit as one). I often find times where when I feel like there is nothing left to do but wait, I remind myself that in due time, the reason for certain happenings come to the surface.
I am currently reading "The Shack" and if any of you have read it, you will probably understand most of my banterings in this particular post. If you have not, you should find a copy and thumb through it. I can honestly admit that there have been several instances where I want to stop what I am doing and share what this book brings to the table. I often find myself thinking "I completely agree... I knew that my relationship is the most important"
From what I have read in this book so far, it has been totally relevent to a current issue that is plagueing my sleep and free time. The question is... Who are you to decide what is right and wrong? If a path for you served to be the right one, but another is heading down your road, yet you feel it to be wrong for them? Deep inside you see this person's cituation is not like yours, although they may wish it to be as fulfilling as yours has proven to be. You see faulty in their thinking. Who am I to tell them they are making a mistake? As a parent, is there where we go wrong? Telling our children "you are making the biggest mistake of your life" or do we allow them to go down this road of hardship because this is what they chose?
Is this not what God gave us, when he granted us free will? When we are about to do something that is not in favor of us, yet we still feel we need to see the outcome? With all the pain and suffering in the world, does this give you humility or greed? You feel sorry for those who don't have all the physical things? Do you latch onto all the things you have "worked" for? Because in the end, nothing is truly and rightfully yours. Thats if you believe this. When life is made easier for you than most, why do some so easily let go of the important things in life. But then again, who am I to judge whats important and whats not? I am not the judge.
Often, I find myself, thinking about my decisions, and how I come across the right one. I find comfort in knowing that I do not compromise what I feel is right for me, and now my family. This is only because its for the greater good. Most risks that are taken, are truly careless, because if its not for the better of YOUR life and YOUR future, who is truly happy then?
I feel like there is one particular quality that I posessed in my teenage years, that most girls don't reach until later, and some others much later, in life. Its the confidence in myself. I dont NEED anyone to be happy. Thats not to say that I don't want my husband or my boys around. If they were gone, I'd be devistated. But it took me not NEEDING someone to love me to be truly and whole-y loved. If your not whole as a person, how can someone love you. You shouldn't feel the need to be loved by someone else to be complete.
When it all comes down to it. He loves you. Yes, God. Allah, Yesuah, etc... He has several names, but that higher power is bigger than you. Once you find that you are truly loved, and you should love yourself. You can truly be at peace.
::disclaimer:: what I have just said, does not mean there wont be hard times, because there will be many and plenty. But the love will get you through. 100% of the time.
Friday, June 19, 2009
f-friday
Its been awhile, again, since I have posted and I am not really sure where I want to start. I'm sitting outside of my cafeteria at work and the wind is blowing like its trying to get away from something, and the air smells of moisture and dirt, aka arizona rain.
First thing I can really think of to update is that Mason is fully potty trained now! It took about two weeks in undies and a couple accidents. He also is known as the streaker at the gym day care. In the middle of the "trial" period, he requested to go to the bathroom... Went potty.... Then ran out of the bathroom.. Completely bottomless yelling "candy candy candy" (at the time we would give him a fruit snack as a treat for going potty)
Secondly- my moms house is complete and she has moved in. Its bitter sweet to have her not part of our everyday. We certainly do miss her extra hand, and car ;) oh and mostly her company.
Everyday I tell myself to go home to read a chapter of new moon again but I'm pretty involved with this book called "my sisters keeper". If it sounds familiar, it has been made into a movie, and comes out in a couple weeks.
I'm typing on my phone now since I took the job doing data entry. Leaving a computer is truly leaving work. If I touch the computer at home, its most likely to put or remove songs on my mp3 player, for work, so I don't lose my mind doing the mundane. I have had a breakdown about the current situation, but am starting to grasp my bearings. I really do feel like I am missing out on benji's baby time. He is already 5 months old! I can't even fathom where the time went. It is the middle of june people!
I have started really contecting with aquiantence, and really enjoy he thoughts and outlook. I have never really had a friend (other than family) that has been really true. Maybe once, but I feel like this friendship has a more fulfilling quality to it.I was an air force brat and so I don't really know what its like to have that friend you have known all your life. But I definitely like my new and current ones!
I am also really starting to discover my deep true feelings about trust and love and friendship. Long story short, I am not fond of my sisters choice of boy. She says she is in love and he is the one and yada yada. My marriage started from highschool. We started dating junior year. Difference between my sister and myself is that I have had my heart shattered before. During the healing process from that break up, I really found out what kind of person I wanted to be. I dibble and dabbled in other "lifestyles" and found where I was most comfortable and adequit for my goals. Before I started dating sterling, I was newly confident in myself and my life. I new where I wanted to be and what I was looking for. I let love find me. And boy am I lucky! My sister needs that she needs to love herself before she can truly love and be loved by someone else.
On another note, my stepmom has completed all of her treatments and does not have to see her oncologists for another 3 months. We hope this devil will stay clear of her body. With the drama unfolding with my sister, I feel like her and I have bonded on some levels. I never really understood some of the things that she would say or do. but now I feel like I have opened a new chapter and friendship with her that I may have otherwise dismissed because of misuderstandings. I truly thank God for that.
I have been working really hard to take my baby weight off and am finally starting to see and feel results! Hallelujah! I have also been taking a yoga class thursday nights for the past 3 weeks and I feel like it helping me stay on the right track, its amazing how can work up a sweat without cardio.
My friday today, started off with a bang... I forgot my lunch and my mp3 player (yes, still plugged into the computer from the night before) and when I get to work I realize that I have the jeep keys, which go to our only vehicle, and sterling couldn't get to work. I also have this ritual called coffee friday, and mcds was only accepting cash (how lame) - I then go to the "starbucks" at my work cafeteria and order a coffee there (4 dollars please) and it was the most vial thing ever consumed. So its 0 for 2 at the "starbucks" and I have now come to conclusion that its just the name on the menu and not the actual product. Out 4 dollars.
Tonight the hubster and I are going on a date for fathers day, and I know that special time spent with him will make any poop filled day-not as poopy :)
Have a good one and remember to tell you fathesr thank you for killing you when you were teenage girls with hormones raging and making stupid decisions.
K.thx.bye
First thing I can really think of to update is that Mason is fully potty trained now! It took about two weeks in undies and a couple accidents. He also is known as the streaker at the gym day care. In the middle of the "trial" period, he requested to go to the bathroom... Went potty.... Then ran out of the bathroom.. Completely bottomless yelling "candy candy candy" (at the time we would give him a fruit snack as a treat for going potty)
Secondly- my moms house is complete and she has moved in. Its bitter sweet to have her not part of our everyday. We certainly do miss her extra hand, and car ;) oh and mostly her company.
Everyday I tell myself to go home to read a chapter of new moon again but I'm pretty involved with this book called "my sisters keeper". If it sounds familiar, it has been made into a movie, and comes out in a couple weeks.
I'm typing on my phone now since I took the job doing data entry. Leaving a computer is truly leaving work. If I touch the computer at home, its most likely to put or remove songs on my mp3 player, for work, so I don't lose my mind doing the mundane. I have had a breakdown about the current situation, but am starting to grasp my bearings. I really do feel like I am missing out on benji's baby time. He is already 5 months old! I can't even fathom where the time went. It is the middle of june people!
I have started really contecting with aquiantence, and really enjoy he thoughts and outlook. I have never really had a friend (other than family) that has been really true. Maybe once, but I feel like this friendship has a more fulfilling quality to it.I was an air force brat and so I don't really know what its like to have that friend you have known all your life. But I definitely like my new and current ones!
I am also really starting to discover my deep true feelings about trust and love and friendship. Long story short, I am not fond of my sisters choice of boy. She says she is in love and he is the one and yada yada. My marriage started from highschool. We started dating junior year. Difference between my sister and myself is that I have had my heart shattered before. During the healing process from that break up, I really found out what kind of person I wanted to be. I dibble and dabbled in other "lifestyles" and found where I was most comfortable and adequit for my goals. Before I started dating sterling, I was newly confident in myself and my life. I new where I wanted to be and what I was looking for. I let love find me. And boy am I lucky! My sister needs that she needs to love herself before she can truly love and be loved by someone else.
On another note, my stepmom has completed all of her treatments and does not have to see her oncologists for another 3 months. We hope this devil will stay clear of her body. With the drama unfolding with my sister, I feel like her and I have bonded on some levels. I never really understood some of the things that she would say or do. but now I feel like I have opened a new chapter and friendship with her that I may have otherwise dismissed because of misuderstandings. I truly thank God for that.
I have been working really hard to take my baby weight off and am finally starting to see and feel results! Hallelujah! I have also been taking a yoga class thursday nights for the past 3 weeks and I feel like it helping me stay on the right track, its amazing how can work up a sweat without cardio.
My friday today, started off with a bang... I forgot my lunch and my mp3 player (yes, still plugged into the computer from the night before) and when I get to work I realize that I have the jeep keys, which go to our only vehicle, and sterling couldn't get to work. I also have this ritual called coffee friday, and mcds was only accepting cash (how lame) - I then go to the "starbucks" at my work cafeteria and order a coffee there (4 dollars please) and it was the most vial thing ever consumed. So its 0 for 2 at the "starbucks" and I have now come to conclusion that its just the name on the menu and not the actual product. Out 4 dollars.
Tonight the hubster and I are going on a date for fathers day, and I know that special time spent with him will make any poop filled day-not as poopy :)
Have a good one and remember to tell you fathesr thank you for killing you when you were teenage girls with hormones raging and making stupid decisions.
K.thx.bye
Monday, May 18, 2009
no fear
As I sit hear at lunch, I am reflecting on our weekend and future. As chelsey and jd are about to graduate, they have so much ahead of them, they may not quite realize the extent of it. Sterling is looking into this new job, that would be a great oppertunity for us. So we are crossing our fingers and thinking positively on this. Mason had a fun filled weekend in the water and amazes me with every new thing he accomplishes. With floaties on, he was able to swim "kick" around the pool with out any help. And Benji, 4 months old, and such a joy, all you have to do is look at hima nd he will flash you his one dimple grin that could melt your heart. Maybe ill update more later, its been a while, we will see....
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
on track
I'm getting out of the shower and I text a girlfriend of mine, who gave the good word about me at countrywide (which by the way I did take, thanks to a dollar more and possible childcare assistance) and asked her if there was an employee fridge, sounds like a silly ? But I thought I'd better ask. So she says yes and then asks "your coming in thursday right?"
Hold the phone..
Thursday?
Is the 30th!
And all week I had been thinking I started wednesday, thinking its the 30th. Bummer, but hey I get my home prep day back, since I spent most of today downtown serving my jury duty by sitting in a room, fiddling with my phone, and hearing names called off, and by 3 we were all dismissed.
I think sweet little benji is teething, for the past two weeks he has been drooling like no other, gnawing on his fists and anything he can manage to get to his face, and he now has those rosey red cheeks. I hope it doesn't hurt him too bad.
In closing, if times are tough, and you have kiddies, I must say that some great therapy is just simply entering their rooms at night and seeing their sweet peaceful faces, because honestly, what are we without our kids...? Sometimes I think about what would it be like if we had waited to have kids. But I truly believe and feel with my heart that I wouldn't trade it for the world. The proof is in their amazing smiles and sweet innocence.
P.s. I feel so lost without my bella and edward saga contiuing... Breaking dawn is complete and I'm a week out and jonesing, I have been trying to find a digital copy of midnight sun that I can read on my curve. Oh cullens how do you do this to me??
Hold the phone..
Thursday?
Is the 30th!
And all week I had been thinking I started wednesday, thinking its the 30th. Bummer, but hey I get my home prep day back, since I spent most of today downtown serving my jury duty by sitting in a room, fiddling with my phone, and hearing names called off, and by 3 we were all dismissed.
I think sweet little benji is teething, for the past two weeks he has been drooling like no other, gnawing on his fists and anything he can manage to get to his face, and he now has those rosey red cheeks. I hope it doesn't hurt him too bad.
In closing, if times are tough, and you have kiddies, I must say that some great therapy is just simply entering their rooms at night and seeing their sweet peaceful faces, because honestly, what are we without our kids...? Sometimes I think about what would it be like if we had waited to have kids. But I truly believe and feel with my heart that I wouldn't trade it for the world. The proof is in their amazing smiles and sweet innocence.
P.s. I feel so lost without my bella and edward saga contiuing... Breaking dawn is complete and I'm a week out and jonesing, I have been trying to find a digital copy of midnight sun that I can read on my curve. Oh cullens how do you do this to me??
Thursday, April 16, 2009
jobs
and also!!!
Job status update.
I think I have the Countrywide (balboa insurance/ bofa) job in the bag. Just waiting for everything to go through the new BOFA hiring system. Of corse bofa has fantastic benifits etc etc... it would only be 11 bucks an hour.
But I have an interview on Monday for Mini Skool (a learning center). With this said. I would ABSOLUTELY love to get back into teaching kiddies. I mean I am soooooo happpy doing that and it would be a monotonous job that you dread going to. I never ONCE dreaded going to work when I worked at KinderCare. Along with LOVING my job, I would get child care discounts for my boys and they also offer insurance and education reimbursement. I think I may be able to get away with asking for 9 at the most for being hired on at Mini Skool. I would love to work my way into this center and sometime in the future become a director. I am fully aware that you have to start at the bottom to rise to the top (where you want to be)
this is what I am mulling over... kthanksbye
Job status update.
I think I have the Countrywide (balboa insurance/ bofa) job in the bag. Just waiting for everything to go through the new BOFA hiring system. Of corse bofa has fantastic benifits etc etc... it would only be 11 bucks an hour.
But I have an interview on Monday for Mini Skool (a learning center). With this said. I would ABSOLUTELY love to get back into teaching kiddies. I mean I am soooooo happpy doing that and it would be a monotonous job that you dread going to. I never ONCE dreaded going to work when I worked at KinderCare. Along with LOVING my job, I would get child care discounts for my boys and they also offer insurance and education reimbursement. I think I may be able to get away with asking for 9 at the most for being hired on at Mini Skool. I would love to work my way into this center and sometime in the future become a director. I am fully aware that you have to start at the bottom to rise to the top (where you want to be)
this is what I am mulling over... kthanksbye
admission
Ok.
So I watch American Idol. And This season has some really great contestants.
BUT I really TRULY don't understand what the hoopla is all about with Adam Lambert...................
I think he is TERRIBLE!!! TERRIBLE.
He screams, he doesn't belt it, its screaming.
Simon thinks he great. But he soooo isnt
He doesn't even have any heart. It just looks like
he needs a MAJOR reality check. In fact I wish I could
tell him to stop screaming, the only episode I thought
he was decent was when he was sitting in the chair and
the song was completely stripped. and guess what. no screaming.
Just a rant about that.
any how, I love breaking dawn, after you think the story is done and you can't do anything with it, Stephanie throws you a curve ball. I love it.
And oh Edward. How you make the name Edward not so geeky. *sigh*
So I watch American Idol. And This season has some really great contestants.
BUT I really TRULY don't understand what the hoopla is all about with Adam Lambert...................
I think he is TERRIBLE!!! TERRIBLE.
He screams, he doesn't belt it, its screaming.
Simon thinks he great. But he soooo isnt
He doesn't even have any heart. It just looks like
he needs a MAJOR reality check. In fact I wish I could
tell him to stop screaming, the only episode I thought
he was decent was when he was sitting in the chair and
the song was completely stripped. and guess what. no screaming.
Just a rant about that.
any how, I love breaking dawn, after you think the story is done and you can't do anything with it, Stephanie throws you a curve ball. I love it.
And oh Edward. How you make the name Edward not so geeky. *sigh*
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