7.15.10

Grateful for...

1. being able to sign Mason up for school, even though its only 2 days a week, he will still have more resources to help expand his imagination and mind.

2. Tomorrow is Friday!

3. Being able to enjoy a session of Yoga with my mom every Thursday night :)

Today I learned...

That even though some things seem out of reach, it you look at the reason before the financing, it seems like a no brainer, we can only afford to have Mason going to school 2 days out of the week and are still stretching our budget. We are determined to give him good ground work for the rest of his educational life. Education will become his (and our) first priority. No matter the price.

7.14.10

Systems down at work. Perfect time to reflect!


I am grateful that...

1. all this overtime is permitting me not to use up personal time for BB's well visit friday morning.

2. I have a fall back for when I work late. Daddy, most of the time, can get them.

3. Vacation to Oregon is only 9 days away! Getttingg ancy!


Lesson:
This morning, I woke up at 415 to get myself into the gym. After contemplating going back to sleep since I did pilates/yoga night before, I stuck through and made it in. Had a great 30 min cardio session, and felt great after. Determination is key. If you want it bad enough you'll make it happen!

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." - Zig Ziglar

Mason was determined to get this puzzle done, and he did. :)

7.13.10

An early lesson learned.

Grateful:

1. For yoga, for a mind clearing and level head in the morning.
2. Cracked Doors in the avenue of possibilities.
3. Sunflower Seeds to munch on when my mouth is bored is bored at work.

Lesson:
While getting ready this morning, it seemed like BB was having a bad dream, so I went in there and just light brushed back his hair a few times, and as soon as my hand touched him, he calmed. Went back to getting ready, and he started fussing again, I repeated, and he calmed.

Knowing that my touch is calming to my kids, lets me know that no matter what, I am a sense of refuge for him, conscious or not.

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. " ~Author Unknown

7.12.10

1. Triple Blessings

2. Family - you may not hear from them all, but I know they are there.

3. Not taking a nap yesterday, and getting the apartment clean!

Lesson:

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood" - Stephen Covey.

On this day...

I'm beginning to really take in the possibilities of possibilities!

Today I am going to pledge to take a 5 minutes out of my day to share 3 things I am grateful for, and 1 thing that I have learned. We all know we learn something new everyday, and we all certainly have plenty of thing to be grateful.

I am making rules for my own pledge because I have givens that I am grateful for. My husband. My Mason. My Benjamin. So I can only combine them into one.. As my Triple Blessings. And I can only use "a grateful" 1 time in a week. Once 6 days has past since the grateful, its fair game.

Often times it takes a catastrophe for someone to look back and be thankful. This will come in handy when I have a low day, and I can go back and review all the true blessings that have come my way.

Compromise

So yesterday, I let my adrenaline get to me. I started spouting off when I shouldn't have. There are certain triggers that seem to get me going, and I needed to take matters into my own hands. I apologize if anything hurtful came from it, that is certainly not my intention. In current times, it may seems selfish to others, but it is only allowing myself to heal. I hate that it has come down to this, and I hope that there will be another winding path that brings us together, inside of drive my emotions into the ground. I feel like if this will ever happen, I need to come to some reconciliation with myself. You know how they say for every year your were with someone, the healing from the breakup takes 6 months to each year. I think this also applies to deep friendships, that are no longer on the same path. There is never lost love, just frustration on both sides, I'm sure. All I am really trying to say is, I am needing to do the selfish thing in the now, in order to be okay in the future. I love you and I'm sure you know who you are. I don't expect a response, but know that when we are face to face. I will still show you respect, in that I care, and want us to have an understanding. I hope you understand, and if not now, in the future.

Master at all

I often find my myself envy of others gifts. IE picture taking, the way the dress (not actual clothes, but how they put the outfit together), even something as simple as writing.

Last night we were watching America's Got Talent and this older Asian man was literally a one man band. They passed him through, but he sounded like a big ol mess. The fact the it takes him 3 hrs to put together his instrument just blew the judges away, he was super sweet. I got to thinking about the mess that was his band. I want to be a master at one thing. Do it well. But I enjoy a lot of things.... just never find time to do it. I really enjoy crafts and learning new things to bake. I want to get into some interior design and start a blog for Mason's random pictures. But I get home, and play with boys because I haven't seen them all day. They are what I want to be good at. They are what I want to master. Being there, being their mommy. But I also need something to identify me. I see flora delis, and see my Aunt Barb, I see Country Crafts and I see my grandma, and I see runners world and see My mom, I see sales and I see Patti. Is there anything that you see, and you see me?

This post began as something completely different but ended in an open ended question that may not even be answered. Curiosity wont kill this cat. Failure is in my dictionary, but never holds me back from trying something new.

Even now I feel like it sounds like a mess. Just because I dont indentify with something, doesnt mean that I am unhappy. I want to transfer my happiness into something for me. From me. Unselfishly.